What kind of tractor comes in a box??
A CASE

What did John Deere say to Allis Chalmers the night they were married ??
Good night Allis, Deere.

What kind of tractor do you always hire and never own ???
A Contractor.

What did the plow say to the tractor ???
Get a little closer John,Deere and we will be hitched.

Why are John Deere tractors painted green?
So thay can hide in the corn when a International drives past.
What do you call a very big tractor ??
A massive Ferguson.

Where can you find a tractor with no wheels????
Where you left it!!

Why did the detective drive a tractor???
Because he was on a case.

You must own an Antique Tractor if...

You slow down while driving so you can try to identify a pile of rusted metal in a paddock.
Your $2,000 tractor gets to stay in the garage while your $15,000 car sits outside.
You hope this winter there will be a enough snow that you can actually use your tractor for something.
When you watch tv you pay more attention to the farm equipment in the background than anything else.
ROBERT GOES TO A TRACTOR SHOW
Robert was a tractor enthusiast - goes to all the major agricultural shows - enthusiastic about tractors etc. etc
He is very keen on a particular model and has heard that it will be featured at the tractor show.
Gets to the show and is in awe - WOW it's huge! Every tractor he could think of.
Asks to have a test drive - exhibitor obliges - ( Visions of awe and excitement - his dream has come true....)
Turns on the ignition ( trembling with excitement) - and accidentally puts it into reverse..... Causes chaos..

Robert's street credentials are ruined. He hangs his head in shame - gets home, burns his tractor magazines etc, etc...
Goes to get plastered in his local pub.....Walks in the door and notices that the room is filled with smoke.
Bartender explains that they have a chimney blockage etc..... and will offer free drinks for a year to anyone who can solve the problem.
Robert stands in the middle of the pub - breathes out fully - then sucks.......
All the smoke dissapears.
Bartender is suprised and amazed - everyone is cheering......
"How on earth did you do that?" The bartender exclaims.
"Easy" - Says Robert...
"Im an Extractor Fan"